THE arranged marriage in india

When it comes to love in India it is not necessary a chemical reaction. The marriage still reflects an old way of thinking engrained in the local culture for centuries: "Your family knows best”. I myself might not entrust my beloved parents to pick my lifetime partner but …Here the marriage has its owns rules and is not treated as an union of two individuals madly in love with each other but rather two families and communities coming together. The love might come…with time. In India the family influence is still key and the arranged/semi-arranged marriages remain alive and well. It is often parents that find the potential partner. But “love marriages” exist too. They belong to significant minority though. Only 5% of marriages in India are estimated to be “love marriages”.

the perfect candidate for wife/husband in india

But is often too nowadays that the future bride and groom have the right to some sort of “veto” and can say “no” and their preferences are considered. But do not expect you can say “no” forever on end. “If you rejected a candidate introduced by family for more than four times, there is something seriously wrong with you”. The “best before” is applicable too, definitely before 30. But it does not mean later you have no chance to find a spouse and get happily married. If you get married to non-Indian (Caucasian) you might consider yourself lucky. “Pale faces” are definitely more desirable. The Indian-African intermarriages are very rare. Technically speaking, the child marriages (for girls below 18 and for boys below 21) are illegal in India but in reality, India has the highest number of child brides in the world…

HOW MUCH DOES THE AVERAGE WEDDING IN INDIA COST?

It is no secret that the Indian weddings are big business. Parents start saving up for their children’s wedding since the moment they are born. The average Indian wedding costs approximately the equivalent of 65 000 EUR (it includes venue, decorations, catering, bridal/groom attire, photographer/videographer, accommodation). It is very rarely a small and an intimate party. Most often than not, you feel like the whole world has been invited to share this(these) “big day(s)” with you. Traditionally, the bride’s parents bear the lion’s share of this event. I have participated in the wedding reception for which over 5000 invites were sent. Not everyone showed up thankfully... but attended also one as small as 48 guests. It is not uncommon that the families gets into a serious debt to organize a lavish extravaganza because there may be no money to live on but there will always be enough money to dazzle your guests. You might get even an impression, that Indians seem to live only for a few days in their lives i.e. when they or their kids get married.

THE NEW INDIAN MATCHMAKER - MATRIMONIAL SITES IN INDIA

You might wonder how do parents find your perfect match? It all has been given to internet. A few clicks… register, create a profile, upload a pic, set your filters (respective religion, caste, community, age, education etc.) and SEARCH… for a suitable partner. There are over 1500 matrimonial websites in India: jeevsathi.com, shaadi.com, bharatmatrimony.com., just to name a few and millions of candidates to choose from. After all, you can find everything in internet, a wife and a husband for you sweet kid too.

THE BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING

Even though a bride does not wear a white dress and there is “no kissing”, the traditional Indian wedding is insanely beautiful. It is a blend of wide array of vibrant colours, divine food, ceremonies, rituals and lively Bollywood style dances. In Indian culture, the wedding is not just “one big day” but a series of ceremonies and rituals occurring before and after the bride and groom exchange vows. An average Indian wedding lasts at least 3 days and sometimes even for a week. And if you thought that the bride wears just one dress, you cannot be further from the truth…

MEHENDI

Mehendi is a pre-wedding celebration when he bride and her female family members and friends gather for henna. The bride has henna applied to her back of hands, palms and feet. It takes approximately 6-8h the mehendi to get dried. It is said that the deeper the colour of mehendi, the happier the marriage will be.

HALDI

Haldi – family members and friends anoint the bride and groom with turmeric paste. This ritual purifies the bride and groom, surrounds them with blessings and wards off the Evil Eye and has additional benefit to make your skin glow.

SANGEET

Sangeet it is basically a big carnival, party was traditionally female only but in modern times both genders participate in what’s become a Bollywood style talent show. It has a lot dance performances from friends and family. It ‘s really celebratory and it’s a way to kick off the whole event. It is definitely a big part of Punjabi culture and north Indian culture. It is less so in South Indian culture.

BARAAT

Barat is a groom's wedding procession. The groom, dressed in his wedding attire proceeds to the wedding venue (usually the bride's house, or the Gurdwara (temple) near the bride's house in case a traditional Sikh wedding) on a white horse (or elephant), accompanied by his family members, relatives and friends. Groom is wearing a Sherwani which is a royal coat of sorts. It has a decent amount of gold sparkles. Red and gold are very traditional auspicious colours for an Indian wedding. Bride is wearing a Lehenga which is basically a big skirt and crop top. At the end of baraat the groom is greated by the bride’s family members. Once the groom paid enough to the bride’s family he can come in and marry her.

WHAT ARE the common INDIAN WEDDING gifts?

The traditional wedding gift is money. The amount usually ends up with “1”. I learnt that a bit too late. But makeup kits, jewellery and travel gift cards are common as well.